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A POEM BY DOLORES MCLEOD - PARADOX

Posted by Jules (juleswill1) on 10 Jan 2009 at 6:59 PM
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  PARADOX

 

This desperate, fearful yearning

is an awakened unmet need

from the days when I was new to this world

when I was without resources

 

I am old now

with many resources

Some are beneficial

Some are just plain crazy

 

I am at war with myself

Intellect demands caution

Emotions demand sustenance

at any cost

Instinct warns against dumping this neediness

in someone else’s lap

 

The most dangerous point of view

is to call it love

to harbour the romantic notion

of finding a home for it

in someone else’s soul

where it would be a squatter

wreaking havoc

paying no rent

disrespectful of its unsuspecting host

demanding with its primal hunger

to be constantly fed

until nothing was left

and then find itself alone

again

 

 It is already home

And I will endure it, nurture it

I will give it room

Space to fully awaken

to the horror of a loveless existence

and still survive

 

To remember

is to honour myself

to know myself

and paradoxically,

to love myself

 

The deepest love

that gave me the choice

to live

 Dolores McLeod, 1st January 2009

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